please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I understand Curling. That high.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
