This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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