wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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