I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
