Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
ugly people sure do ruin things
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
