No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
