I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
