I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
