Banned from zoo.
Again?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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