so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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