i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
