Midget sex pt 2 tonight
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
