Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
