If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It was like getting head from an anaconda
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
