His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
