You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
