Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
