the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
my liver is dry heaving
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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