Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
