I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Houston, we have a blender
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
