I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
