try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
