I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I need moral support for this bender
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
