the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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