why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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