By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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