We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
