So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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