it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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