My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
not ubering you a puppy
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
