I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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