You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm too high and old for this...
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
