She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
