I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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