two words: eviction party
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
