I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
