that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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