he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
