3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
