On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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