did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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