i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
