The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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