just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
