we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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