I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
