I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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