I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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