home. puking in laundry basket.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
