Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize