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My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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