yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
