I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
