i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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