I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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