I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
