Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
