I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
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