Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize