You just made me feel so damn special
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
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