If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
